Bringing up a baby
31 pages
Millicent B-S


This is the very short, completely made-up and totally tongue-in-cheek guide to the toughest and most thankless job on the planet.

Notice that it’s short. 31 pages. It’s not really even a book, more like a booklet. So please, no 1-star reviews, complaining that “Hey, this wasn’t even long enough to be a real book!” We know that.

This is also not a real guide. It’s a made-up guide. Anyone who pays any attention at all to the advice given here is clearly an idiot. So – once again – no 1-stars, please, because this did not offer any real guidance whatsoever about how to be a good parent. It’s not supposed to. It’s supposed to be funny.


We are lucky enough to be living in a world of Specialists – everywhere you look, there are highly educated, incredibly experienced and all-together very knowledgeable experts in practically every field imaginable.   In the realm of child-rearing, there are probably thousands of well-trained and extremely respected experts.

I am not one of them.

I’m not even a real person.  Millicent Bingham-Smythe is a pen name. 

But I certainly sound like a real expert, don’t I?  In a vaguely British/elitist sort of way?

The real person who wrote this book, by the way, IS a mother.  Of two girls.  And they are both alive, and not in prison.

Good parenting is measured by many different yardsticks.

So, please don’t expect any REAL advice here.  In fact, don’t even expect a real book.  It’s barely 5000 words, for heavens sake.  Not even a novella.  Think of this as one of those little pamphlets you pick up at the free clinic.So, what’s the point of this?

Well, Joe Konrath thought it would be fun for writers to write a book in under eight hours.  It was kind of a ‘throw down the gauntlet’ thing.  And because the person who actually DID write this is, well, a writer, she took up the challenge.

So -  welcome to the world of parenting as you have never quite seen it before.

By the way – there is no Table of Contents.  This is way too short for that


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In series “Millicent B-S”

Oh you Bought a puppy